from kj

A New Epidemic

A new epidemic on the rise is LEA- "Loss of Equilibrium in Adults." Perhaps "new" is not the correct adjective, because this illness may have been around for decades, centuries even. However, I have recently noticed a sharp increase in its prevelance on the sidewalks of Chicago. It affects human adults of every race, creed, and ethic origin, big or small, male or female. No need to involve the children, who find themselves attached to adults who cannot walk a straight line. They are merely victims by default.

So many adults suffer from this loss of equilibrium, which causes walker's rage and numerous other dangerous side effects to both themselves and innocent bystanders. I wonder how many people have been shoved into the street by a diagonal LEA walker?

The most aggrevating aspect of LEA is that it inhibits those who need to get somewhere, the ability to get there in a timely manner. LEA sufferers walk slowly and all over the sidewalk, as if they owned it. They lose grasp of peripheral vision, a much needed human characteristic, and are therefore unable to sense there are people around them. With dangerous veering and sudden b-lines, it is almost inevitable LEA sufferers create havoc on the sidewalks by bumping into others. God forbid they are driving a stroller or carrying several shopping bags.

posted by kari @ 7:40 AM